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 7:50 PM | MV Cokaliong

The past few days have been an emotional ride. My heart is happy to be reunited with family yet at the same time, bitter since the reason we are together is for lolo's wake.

Between the stories and the laughs, I get a pinch in my heart each that I remember that I am officially without grandparents, at least only in my mother's side. It's like I am reminded that  I am now an adult who is slowly losing significant parts of my childhood -- like a kid losing her baby teeth -- only that they aren't replaced with new ones. 

It has not sunk in just yet, I feel like lolo is still in his huge, sadly unmaintained ancestral home, looking over the coconut farm - the job he's been doing his whole life. I see him in his sisters' eyes, in his brothers' voices, and in every 5'8 ft grandpas I see around. I miss him so and I am hoping to see him again -- if he had believed in Christ as his Savior and Lord, I know I will.