Tell me how to sleep

when the moment my eyes finally feel like closing,

I had to turn off the alarm set at 5 AM

How do I pour out my sadness 

from that night my heart went down the drain,   

when I had to show up on time the next day

and ask people how they are

How do I cry from losing someone over death

when I have to function on an 8-hour shift,

tick the chores off the list,

and face the screen with full attention

How do I unlearn to suppress all these sentiments

when the moment I show weakness, 

it would seem unstoppable,

there's this constant fear

that I would be uncontrollably foolish and irrational

But I know it's wrong to keep it in.

Even when it's more convenient 

to stay silent

and swallow down my agony,

I am not meant to live this way

There's a resting place to lay down every hurt,

every unshed tear, all the unsaid questions,

for I have One who understands my aches like it is His -

who went through the deepest sorrow so I can have joy,

who was pinned with rusty nails to free me from isolation,

who bore the excruciating pain so that even though I grieve,

I grieve with hope