Lately

Colon Street, 2023

Lately, I have been keeping ahold of my irritation at almost everything

I'm like a walking grenade ready to explode one moment someone pulls the pin

This melancholy's hard to understand but it goes away on its own

albeit it leaves me with a body and mind so tired no matter how much sleep I do

And so I end up escaping to multiple worlds through films

It gives me a sense of direction, like something to look forward to

though I know that by the end of it - the moment it scrolls the credit,

I am brought back to the realms of unfathomable instability

I've tried reading, too

but each page seems to not have any sense 

I know I would have loved it on a normal day

but lately, nothing seems to be good enough to make me feel better

This undefined hollow buried inside of me convinces me of one thing

- my longings can never be fulfilled by a world that is eventually vanishing

I am far deeply fashioned for an everlasting existence

one I cannot completely fathom with my current finiteness 

So I cry for mercy, I cry for help

May the Lord take this heart and mind

and confine it to His ways

I plead out of desperation 

I plead knowing He hears