The month didn't start well for me. I was on leave for two days because I felt unexplainably exhausted even without doing anything. My mind was not in the best state either. I figured out maybe I needed a break from screens or books but then even after the walks and talks, I ended up feeling more tired. 
    I was like this most of the month and remembering about it now feels draining. It's not exactly like I look physically weak or dysfunctional, I still do my regular tasks - work, Sundays, meetings, - yet in the most unorganized manner. My weekly planner remains blank and I only do things as I remember them. You know that lingering heaviness that reappears randomly at any time of the day? That makes me dizzy and distracted so I go back to lying in bed when it happens.

    I joined an out-of-town trip for church thinking that I also needed time out of the room. I was encouraged by the activity there and really enjoyed the time I got to spend with people. I tried to get back on track with my routine the week after, yet the tunnel felt longer this time and it felt tiring chasing the end of it. So, I sleep each time the dizziness comes back. I don't know how else to explain it but apparently August was a walk in the desert for me.

    Now on the brighter side of things, I am thankful that I am here, at the end of the month, alive and still writing hehe. Every single day that has passed has led me to see how God used it to humble me - to remind me that it is only His strong and steadfast hand that keeps me from going astray - not my own strength. I have witnessed how the deception of my own desires has led me to foolish decisions. I feel ashamed of how I only thought about people not seeing my sinfulness and yet ignored the God who sees it all.  Sin is truly deadly and it creeps in innocently anywhere you let your guard down. Last Sunday's sermon was a perfect reminder of how in times of trials or temptations, it is wise to ask God for wisdom for "He gives generously without reproach." (James 1:5)
    Ate Dee also shared something during the ladies' Bible study that was so comforting and it's something like, even when we are being disciplined as a consequence of our sin, God is there with us being faithful and loving. T.T
 I wish I could share more but then the journey through the tunnel continues. However, this time, I firmly know that I am held and loved. Next time na sab! 

                                                                                                                                    See you around,