The sound of thunder does not faze me

In fact, the lightning leaves me more discomfort

You see, it arrives all bright and magnificent

Leaving me in awe and keeping my eyes glued

as it shines over everything else in the sky

Yet as it struck, it also vanishes after a blink

At once, it is enormously overwhelming

the next minute, it is nowhere in the scene

Always reappearing but never staying 

Reminds me of the thrill of a Ferris wheel ride,

of walking on stage to get a school award

of a refreshing cold shake on a hot day - 

those temporary shivers that I remember the most

like you in the days of August

I find it hard to keep up with the change of tones, 

of colors and of moods

This feels like an equation that

my average Math skill can't wrap around

Are you a dream meant to be forgotten in the morning?

You see, I only have fair expertise in swimming

But I'd rather be lost in the sea

than be caught in the middle of your uncertainty

I can’t risk years of healing

for something unclear and inconsistent 

and years of waiting

for someone who only leaves me 

constantly wondering

So I'll let you be,

appear when you want, like a lightning

but I won't look up anymore

nor wonder if you'll ever show up again